Casino Night
by Guardgirl102
Summary: Episode 22, Season 2: Casino Night. In Pam and Jim's POV. What was Jim thinking when he professed his love for her? What was Pam thinking when Jim kissed her? Here's my take on it.


**Author's Note: **So, I have never written a fanfic for The Office, so give me a break maybe? This is from Casino Night, Season 2's season finale, which is one of my all-time favorite episodes. The spoken words are taken directly from the episode, and I filled in my take on what their thoughts were. It jumps around from Jim and Pam's POV, depending on what I thought would sound better. Any feedback would be _greatly_ appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Office, sadly. Onto the show (:

* * *

Dwight walked in wearing a ridiculous tuxedo and before I had the chance to hide my smile, Jim jumped in.

"Excuse me, how long is the wait for a table for two?"

I giggled internally. Jim is always so funny, in a way only we understood. After Dwight said he would never serve Jim, I threw him a compliment.

"It's a nice tux."

* * *

I went up to grab a memo, which just happened to be at Pam's desk. I didn't even need the memo, I just wanted an excuse to talk to her and didn't feel like choking down a jellybean.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing," she replied as she studied some papers.

I became nosy and stole a peek at the paper.

"Til Death Do Us Rock", I said almost as a question.

"They're wedding bands"

"Oh," was my first response. I hated hearing about any plans for her wedding to Roy. It reminded me that Pam was spoken for, and that just made my heart ache.

"Roy was supposed to pick the band, but he's concentrating on the bachelor party now"

Leave it to Roy to think only of himself and not give a damn about Pam. He didn't deserve her.

"Wait, wait. Where are you going? Even if you don't hire a band you still have to watch the bands. Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that."

She smiled and in return, I smirked my special smirk. The one only meant for Pam.

"And yes, they're probably all very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreamed."

Her giggling was the most beautiful sound.

"There's a kiss cover band in here", she teased.

"Let's do it," and I took her laughter as a yes.

* * *

"I'm pretty happy these days," I told the camera crew.

"I'm getting married soon, and I'm getting along with everybody at work." _Especially Jim._

* * *

"Why did I talk to Jan about transferring?"

"Well, you know, I have no future here," _with Pam getting married soon_..

* * *

"Wow, I don't know how you're gonna decide. They are all extremely good,"

"I think I should hire them all. Do like lollapalooza, have three stages. Yeah,"

"Your mom would love that. She would. Now this band is called Scrantonicity, take a look," as we heard the familiar sounds of the Police, "Nice,"

"Oh, wait. That's Kevin, on the drums."

"What?" I said in disbelief.

"On the drums, on the drums!" as the tv scanned to the friendly, larger-than-life man that is Kevin Malone.

"Oh my god, that's him!" I honestly probably wouldn't have noticed. I was really only paying attention to Pam and the music a little bit. She is observant of everything though, so smart.

"Great song, Kev," I joked as Pam and I shared several laughs. I would give anything to hear that laugh all the time.

Suddenly the video was in a cartoon-style mode, very old-school.

"Oh! Yeah, you haven't seen that since 1983. That is amazing. Okay, we _have_ to sign them. I'm gonna call the label, we're gonna.."

"No, come back! No, no, no!" as she tugged on my arm attempting to prevent me from opening the door. I easily could have, but I enjoyed the feeling of her hand on me, almost an electric shock. I loved when we joked like this.

* * *

"Jim is great, being with him just takes away all the stress of planning my wedding," I told the cameras, unable to hide a smile at the mention of Jim's name.

* * *

Casino night began, and I was excited to be around Pam without Roy in sight anywhere. She was wearing a stunning purple cocktail dress. It was breathtaking. _She_ was breathtaking, with or without the dress. We were playing a card game, hell if I knew which one. I just sat at the same table she did. She has this look on her face like she had the best cards in the world, with a little eye roll that was incredibly cute.

"Yeah right," I tried to call her out.

"Yeah right what?" she tried to play innocent.

"What was this," I imitated her cute eye roll, although I'm positive it wasn't as cute as when she did it.

I felt a little silly doing it, but I got a laugh from her and that made it all worth it.

"I have good cards," she giggled.

"Really,"

"Mhmm. And I'm gonna take you all in."

"Wow."

She put all her chips out on the table, and I couldn't tell if she was bluffing or not. I'd let her win anyways just to make her happy.

"I think you're bluffing," I said, and she made a cute face in her attempt to be unreadable. But I have studied her face so many times, I could read every inch of it. I put in all my chips, knowing she was going to take them in a second. She could have anything of mine though, I'd give it willingly.

"Straight," Pam declared. Damn, she's good.

"Oh, very nice," I thought. I'm in love with a master card player. But that was nothing new, I had been in love with Pam Beesly since the moment I laid eyes on her.

* * *

Roy was saying goodbye. I was kind of glad he was leaving early, so I didn't have to be as cautious hanging out with Jim. He just didn't understand how Jim could be my best friend and always around me with no romance attached. Roy asked Jim to keep an eye on me, as if I would do something stupid. But at least Roy knew who to ask, as Jim would never let anything happen to me.

"Hey, how's it goin?" Jim asked casually.

"Good, especially after I took all your money at poker," I joked.

"Yeah, uh, can I talk to you about something?"

"About when you wanna give me more of your money? We can do that now. We can go inside. I'm feelin kinda good tonight." I would not let Jim live tonight down for awhile.

"I was just, um. I'm in love with you"

"What?" I had to have heard wrong. This had to be a dream where I heard him say this, in a dream where I wasn't engaged to Roy.

"I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I need you to hear it"

* * *

I can't believe I am doing this. Spilling my heart out to Pam, after having these feelings for so long. Risking our friendship, because our cute little moments weren't enough for me. I just had to have her all to myself. But what if she doesn't really feel that way? What if I imagined those smiles meant just for me as a way to comfort myself?

She was stunned silent, and I've never seen her look so serious. So I continued, seeing as I had already taken the leap anyways.

"Prolly not good timing, I know that."

"What are you doing?" she asked. Not a good sign.

"What do you expect me to say to that?"

"I just need you to know, once" _that you are the deciding factor between me staying here and going to Stamford. No pressure though_.

"Well, I um, I, I can't." and those were the words that shattered my heart.

"Yeah,"

"You have _no_ idea,"

"Don't do that." I interrupted.

"What your friendship means to me"

"Come on. I don't wanna do that. I wanna be more than that,"

"I can't," again she said.

"I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things,"

I stand corrected. _Those_ were the words that shattered my heart. And my eyes could no longer hold the sadness inside me.

"It's prolly my fault,"

"It's not your fault," I corrected. It was mine for being so dumb.

"I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship," I said as I walked away. There was no such thing as leaving with dignity here. I had just been stripped of any and all of mine.

How could I have been so stupid? Did I think she would profess her undying love for me, leave Roy, and spend the rest of her life with me? The water at my eyes was spilling over now, like a dam being released.

* * *

"About ten minutes ago," I told my mom, relaying to her the whole story. She was the one person, besides Jim, I could tell anything to.

"No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. Uh, I don't know Mom, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great."

I had always told Mom stories of pranks Jim and I pulled on Dwight.

"Yeah, I think I am,"

I looked up, and Jim was in the room. My heartbeat became erratic, and I panicked slightly.

"Um, I have to go. I will." I hung up the phone.

I turned to face him.

"Listen, Jim" I started to say, before I was silenced by something.

It was his lips. And boy, did they feel.. perfect. Even better than in my dreams I had always felt guilty for dreaming. His arms wrapped around my body and his hands were placed on my back. It felt so right, like pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. His hands and lips were so gentle. For a brief moment, I had forgotten I was engaged to- what was his name again? Roy. Our lips moved in sync so urgent and passionate, but never rough. I wrapped my hands around his neck, on his face, holding to his shirt collar. They ran through his hair, something I had always wanted to do. Before I really wanted it to end though, it was done.

_Where do we go from here? _


End file.
